Why is it I catch 11:11 twice a day ,

and I always have nothing to say ???

I noticed I rarely post these days. TSK . What happened to my motivation???
Feel so broken inside out . Why is that so? No , it's not because of you.
I hate myself oh. So very much . Wish I was alittle more to perfect than to none. Life have been more bearable , yet it's still unbearable , can you tell me why?
This is nothing , everything , is nothing. Whenever I put on a fake smile , Nobody notices if it's fake anymore. It's a pity , because even I believe it's real. Am I getting better at acting? I guess in my life , you've always been here , I forgot how to stand up . I forgot how it feels to be forgotten . I forgot everything I'm suppose to remember, forgot how to cherish , forgot what I had , and everything else. Nothing matters to me anymore. Life's a piece of paper. Blank piece of paper. This is life right? you're the pen , and i'm the paper. and yet no , you're not the pen , I'm the pen , and the paper. zzz.